Initially, when I began to write this post I wasn't sure of the direction I wanted to take. Where to even start? How much do I say? I knew I wanted to be as real as I possibly could be for my very FIRST blog post, ever.
So here we go.
My name is Melanie and I am a 22 year old first time mommy to be! Yes, I am currently with child. I couldn't be more thrilled, truth be told. My boyfriend and I had a pretty good idea early on that I was pregnant but it wasn't nearly as insane to say as to have seen that little flickering heartbeat flutter the way it did on that monitor only to hear the doc say "congrats!" Nothing on earth can prepare you for that moment, let me tell you. I was living in what felt to be an alternate universe where I wasn't pregnant. You see, I didn't actually believe that I was. Of course I was aware there was a human fetus rapidly growing inside of me, but I guess I mean it just didn't seem real. I still relatively looked the same, apart from some fatigue and fuller boobs. (One of the perks) and I couldn't feel anything move around just yet. So suppose I was just in a bit of shock.
The fear didn't quite hit me until much later though. I'm grateful to have had my boyfriend so on board the way that he was. Although, I think he's a little scared. Lord knows he'd never admit it out loud. But what I'm thankful for the most is the insanely hard-working and dedicated man I created life with. Cameron, my boyfriend (baby daddy) whatever, you'll refer to him as, is my boyfriend of almost seven years. Yes, seven! I guess you could call us high school sweethearts, even though we went to separate schools. Either way we've been together for what seems like forever. And the reason I'm so grateful to have him, apart from him giving me my son (oh, it's a boy by the way!) he is the sole provider in our household, being that I'm currently unemployed.
Of all the times it seemed impossible to find a job, I definitely chose a prime time to get pregnant! With a baby on the way, the last thing any couple wants to worry about is money. I hate the word "money" but Cameron brings home a decent amount considering there will soon be three of us. Of course I fully intend to return back to work full time after the baby is born (and maternity leave) but it's the right now that leaves me a little weary.
On top of doctors appointments and making sure baby and I are healthy, we have to make sure our house is in perfect shape to bring a baby home. (And it isn't of course) The home my man busts his butt to afford and all the bills he pays to have light and hot water daily. I know right, poor us. There are families out there who can't keep a roof over their head or feed their children and I'm complaining how hard Cameron has to work for us.Point is, I feel helpless knowing Cameron is working so hard to provide for me and here I am, just growing a human over here!
We are blessed, we know that. But still, for a young couple in their twenties, living in sunny Southern California and starting a family, living on one income can sometimes feel impossible. Because let's be real, it almost is impossible to live or "survive" as some might say, today. The odds are even harsher for the young people our age who make an honest living yet still have trouble paying bills on time. Living on ramen (which I love actually) just to make rent and pay our other bills. We literally live the definition of the term "living from paycheck to paycheck." On top of the normal stress just from that, we are also pregnant. I now have a small, dependent human to worry about, To think about and to put before myself.
So, this my friends, is when the fear I mentioned sunk in. We are living in this moment of terror and my son isn't even among us yet. I feel like he will be here before we know it and we still have all this work left to do!
I'm already five and a half months along and the weeks are zooming by at this point. Have I mentioned we have nothing ready for his arrival?
We're literally in the process of re-furnishing our entire house and completely down-sizing our bedroom. We currently live in a one bedroom home and just came to terms with pros over the cons of our situation.
We have an adorable house by the beach, in a beautiful neighborhood with a garage and large patio. For you fellow renters in LA, you know that's a steal.
So for now while our baby doesn't require too much space, we're going to make this work. This seems to be my new slogan in life.
"We're going to make this work!"
Because really, we have no other option. I was even a little hesitant to take part in this blog, but then I was reminded that my current position was indeed relatable and similar to so many people out there. Refreshing and funny as it was to learn my friend Amy, aka the beauty and brains of this operation, and I were expecting our first children at the exact same time! Not only are we sharing our beginning pregnancy symptoms, but we also share current, personal struggles that are bizarrely identical to each other.
I then instantly felt that I wasn't alone.
The moral of this post is to share with all of you, no matter who's reading, it's okay to not be okay sometimes. No struggle can be determined as too big or too small by anyone but yourself. The last thing I want to come off as, is a drag. I'm pregnant and over the moon but still have to face my worries. Perhaps my hormones are to blame. I just have always strove to perfection, that it's hard for me to see things aren't perfect but considering how impossible it always seems to obtain such perfection I can't help it.
So for now, while I try to make it through every day, one day at a time, I'm going to attempt to be okay with all the little things that drive me crazy. I'm going to accept that I simply cannot do it all and expect to sleep soundly as well. I am going to remember all of the things that put smiles on our faces and fill our small home with love. (A lot of the time frustration, but nonetheless love.)
So attempt, I shall! Here's a total bipolar moment for you, I cannot wait to hold my son. Who else just wants to smell a baby? Until my next rant...
So here we go.
My name is Melanie and I am a 22 year old first time mommy to be! Yes, I am currently with child. I couldn't be more thrilled, truth be told. My boyfriend and I had a pretty good idea early on that I was pregnant but it wasn't nearly as insane to say as to have seen that little flickering heartbeat flutter the way it did on that monitor only to hear the doc say "congrats!" Nothing on earth can prepare you for that moment, let me tell you. I was living in what felt to be an alternate universe where I wasn't pregnant. You see, I didn't actually believe that I was. Of course I was aware there was a human fetus rapidly growing inside of me, but I guess I mean it just didn't seem real. I still relatively looked the same, apart from some fatigue and fuller boobs. (One of the perks) and I couldn't feel anything move around just yet. So suppose I was just in a bit of shock.
The fear didn't quite hit me until much later though. I'm grateful to have had my boyfriend so on board the way that he was. Although, I think he's a little scared. Lord knows he'd never admit it out loud. But what I'm thankful for the most is the insanely hard-working and dedicated man I created life with. Cameron, my boyfriend (baby daddy) whatever, you'll refer to him as, is my boyfriend of almost seven years. Yes, seven! I guess you could call us high school sweethearts, even though we went to separate schools. Either way we've been together for what seems like forever. And the reason I'm so grateful to have him, apart from him giving me my son (oh, it's a boy by the way!) he is the sole provider in our household, being that I'm currently unemployed.
 |
| My baby-daddy Cameron and I (pre-preggo) |
Of all the times it seemed impossible to find a job, I definitely chose a prime time to get pregnant! With a baby on the way, the last thing any couple wants to worry about is money. I hate the word "money" but Cameron brings home a decent amount considering there will soon be three of us. Of course I fully intend to return back to work full time after the baby is born (and maternity leave) but it's the right now that leaves me a little weary.
On top of doctors appointments and making sure baby and I are healthy, we have to make sure our house is in perfect shape to bring a baby home. (And it isn't of course) The home my man busts his butt to afford and all the bills he pays to have light and hot water daily. I know right, poor us. There are families out there who can't keep a roof over their head or feed their children and I'm complaining how hard Cameron has to work for us.Point is, I feel helpless knowing Cameron is working so hard to provide for me and here I am, just growing a human over here!
We are blessed, we know that. But still, for a young couple in their twenties, living in sunny Southern California and starting a family, living on one income can sometimes feel impossible. Because let's be real, it almost is impossible to live or "survive" as some might say, today. The odds are even harsher for the young people our age who make an honest living yet still have trouble paying bills on time. Living on ramen (which I love actually) just to make rent and pay our other bills. We literally live the definition of the term "living from paycheck to paycheck." On top of the normal stress just from that, we are also pregnant. I now have a small, dependent human to worry about, To think about and to put before myself.
 |
| My little baby belly! |
I'm already five and a half months along and the weeks are zooming by at this point. Have I mentioned we have nothing ready for his arrival?
 |
| Back at 3 months... |
We're literally in the process of re-furnishing our entire house and completely down-sizing our bedroom. We currently live in a one bedroom home and just came to terms with pros over the cons of our situation.
We have an adorable house by the beach, in a beautiful neighborhood with a garage and large patio. For you fellow renters in LA, you know that's a steal.
So for now while our baby doesn't require too much space, we're going to make this work. This seems to be my new slogan in life.
"We're going to make this work!"
Because really, we have no other option. I was even a little hesitant to take part in this blog, but then I was reminded that my current position was indeed relatable and similar to so many people out there. Refreshing and funny as it was to learn my friend Amy, aka the beauty and brains of this operation, and I were expecting our first children at the exact same time! Not only are we sharing our beginning pregnancy symptoms, but we also share current, personal struggles that are bizarrely identical to each other.
I then instantly felt that I wasn't alone.
The moral of this post is to share with all of you, no matter who's reading, it's okay to not be okay sometimes. No struggle can be determined as too big or too small by anyone but yourself. The last thing I want to come off as, is a drag. I'm pregnant and over the moon but still have to face my worries. Perhaps my hormones are to blame. I just have always strove to perfection, that it's hard for me to see things aren't perfect but considering how impossible it always seems to obtain such perfection I can't help it.
So for now, while I try to make it through every day, one day at a time, I'm going to attempt to be okay with all the little things that drive me crazy. I'm going to accept that I simply cannot do it all and expect to sleep soundly as well. I am going to remember all of the things that put smiles on our faces and fill our small home with love. (A lot of the time frustration, but nonetheless love.)
So attempt, I shall! Here's a total bipolar moment for you, I cannot wait to hold my son. Who else just wants to smell a baby? Until my next rant...
XO
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