Feeling Large

I feel large, like LARGE LINDA large. Like every day I wake up bigger and bigger. Today at work, I literally felt my center of gravity had changed. The other day, someone ran into my belly! I wasn't even that close to him! 

Small things are a struggle. Getting out of bed, rolling from one side to the other, getting off the couch. Getting up in my truck is getting to be hard. Do you think I could pull the steering wheel OFF the car? Cause that's sometimes how it feels when I am lumbering in there.
 
And the worst of it? I've got another 9 weeks! Can't she just get heavier internally and my belly not have to get bigger? Remember the post where I said that I was LOVING people telling me how small my baby bump was? 

Ha. Ha. Ha.  Oh how short lived that was. 

I have to rethink my closet soon. I went shopping at the Topanga Westfield Mall this weekend and  went to Motherhood Maternity. They have a ton of cute clothes, but I am so ambivalent about buying clothes for a "temporary" time in my life. Especially with only 9 weeks to go. Before you can say "you will still wear them after the baby is born for awhile" my response is YES YES I KNOW. I still don't want to spend my money on something that I foresee not wearing by the end of the year. I can't justify it. I may not be skinny minny on a regular pre-baby day, but I am certainly not going to be hanging onto this weight. I'm sorry but I just won't accept that. 

I'm hoping that breastfeeding and eating a modified Atkins diet POST baby will help drop it. I certainly have plans to at least get out of the house for a walk at least 4x a week. (Notice how I don't say everyday? I'm not setting myself for failure here) I've heard from the rumor mill that some of you people have volunteered to come help, baby sit, stay with us....I'm going to be setting up a schedule here. No joke. When one person leaves the compound, I will bring in another! This mom-to-be is not afraid to say I am going to need help. With your help, maybe I can work on myself a bit. By feeling good about ourselves, we show our children and those around us how to feel good about themselves. 

I don't want to bring my daughter into the world to a mom who has body issues. Most of us have some issues or another, we probably always will. But for the most part we are happy with the person standing in front of us in the mirror. That equals a happy person, a happy mom. So if a 30 min walk with my iPod alone will help me get there, I'm not going to feel guilty for taking it. And I thank all of you ahead of time for allowing me to have that. 

Another note, I'm starting to feel REALLY unprepared for labor/post labor. Like panic attack-my-bag-still-isn't-packed-should-it-be-freaked out! (But seriously, is it bad that at 31 weeks my bag isn't packed yet?) 

I've got the first of my baby showers next weekend. I'm figuring out disability and how that works. I still do not have my nursery together. We haven't taken our childbirth class yet (June 28th) so I sometimes have fits of panic thinking about the physical aspect of HAVING said baby. Then there is the post-partum recovery...which if you have read any subjects on Thebump.com, there is PLENTY to be scared of. Apparently you need gadgets and gizmos aplenty just to go to the bathroom for weeks after the birth. Sounds lovely....

So yeah, I should probably waddle around for some exercise now. Waddle being the preemptive word. Word of the day: waddle. 

Go forth and waddle my friends,

Amy