The Latest and Greatest

Hey guys! 

I know it's been awhile but I go through periods like that where I just don't really feel like blogging. Mainly I didn't want to just complain about the same shit over and over. 

I've really been ballooning out. It's like every day I wake up and I'm bigger than I was the day before. It's a bit depressing. As most of you know I have prided myself (falsely) on remaining fairly small throughout the duration of my pregnancy. And it was true. I loved hearing it from people. Needless to say, I don't hear that often anymore. I'm gigantic and uncomfortable. See below

 

This is how I feel 100% of the day. Large and not in charge. Know whose in charge? My baby girl, she's the one calling the shots around here. 

Let's take a snapshot of where we stand: 

How far along am I: 35 weeks

How many days left till Due Date: 4 weeks and 5 days

How big is baby: almost 6lbs in there, the size of a coconut

My latest and most awful symptom is this pregnancy induced carpal tunnel. It started last week with numbing and loss of sensation in my hands. Mostly my left hand and mostly the thumb, forefinger and middle finger. I have found zero help in any different position. With pillow or without pillows, drinking lots of water or drinking minimum water, cutting back my salt, using an ice pack before bed, stretching....NOTHING WORKS. NOTHING. 

I went to the chiropractor for it today. It's not an expense we necessarily needed but I can't keep it up. I am LUCKY to get 4 hours of sleep and that includes waking up every hour to shake out my hands and wake them up. I told her all of my symptoms. She told me I have a large amount of swelling, particularly on my left side. She worked out vertebrates 5-8 in my neck and worked extensively on my left hand. I still have numbness, even as I write this, but it felt amazing just being there. I love the chiropractor's office: it's a combination of adjustment and massage. (I may need to go get a massage actually soon too!) She showed me how to try and help with the swelling on my hand by pushing back the fluid up toward my heart and out my wrist. She showed me how to stretch out my shoulders using a door frame. She told me I need to wear my wrist brace at night, but seeing as it's the one from Target, it's unlikely it's high enough quality to really do much. But I'm going to give it a shot.

 I mean, this whole thing is literally giving me anxiety about sleeping. How awful is that? When bedtime comes, this exhausted mama-to-be is SCARED to go to bed! Imagine that you guys, imagine you are scared to lie down because the loss of feeling in your hands wakes you up and then it takes hours for the feeling to come back...if it comes back 100% at all. It's terrifying. Repeat that feeling every hour.

I told my doctor/OB-GYN about all of this and he only had one real answer to give me: 

"Having a baby is the only way this is going to go away, I'm afraid" 

Gee, thanks Doc. So I'm just supposed to suffer with lack of sleep? 

I thought I would be proactive. I figured I'd find a knowledgeable chiropractor to help me and see if there is anything that she can do. I'll have to see after tonight. But I'm seeing her again in a week. I'll keep y'all posted. 

My last day of work is June 27th which is this Friday. I'm happy and relieved. I don't know or have a clue what my disability pay will be, but I am really crossing my fingers it's equivalent to what I made at my job. This job was minor pay that I took because we needed something after my last job ended. It was a job we were and are grateful for. But it's not a job that matches my education or abilities or intelligence. If the disability pay can come within 50 or so bucks of my weekly pay, we will be OK until I find something more corporate. Cause Lord knows we don't want to stress about finances when we have a baby coming in WEEKS. That's stressful enough!

On a happy note here are some images of the baby showers I've been so grateful to have thrown for me and our baby:

These were delicious. I ate like 4.

This sums up my beautiful best friend and I relationship. She's the godmother to our baby girl and she is the most amazing person I know. I couldn't have asked for a better host.

DIAPER CAKE!

 

And here are some photos of my Los Angeles Shower with my peeps from down here: 

 

I have some beautiful friends and I am so blessed and grateful to have all of these women in my life. I felt so much love and emotion from both of my showers and the ladies who showed up made me feel like a million bucks. A huge thank you to EVERYONE who helped plan it and was there that day. I truly do feel like it takes a village to raise a child and all of you women are in my village!

So after Friday...we wait....and we wait....and we blog...and we wait. 

Last thing, I NOW understand why women don't get scared of labor after a certain point. After a certain point, you lose all anxiety for actual labor. You just want control of your body again! I'm there. Shoot me up with an epidural and I'm ready! 

Any questions? Comments? Concerns? Let me hear them! 

XOXO

Feeling Large

I feel large, like LARGE LINDA large. Like every day I wake up bigger and bigger. Today at work, I literally felt my center of gravity had changed. The other day, someone ran into my belly! I wasn't even that close to him! 

Small things are a struggle. Getting out of bed, rolling from one side to the other, getting off the couch. Getting up in my truck is getting to be hard. Do you think I could pull the steering wheel OFF the car? Cause that's sometimes how it feels when I am lumbering in there.
 
And the worst of it? I've got another 9 weeks! Can't she just get heavier internally and my belly not have to get bigger? Remember the post where I said that I was LOVING people telling me how small my baby bump was? 

Ha. Ha. Ha.  Oh how short lived that was. 

I have to rethink my closet soon. I went shopping at the Topanga Westfield Mall this weekend and  went to Motherhood Maternity. They have a ton of cute clothes, but I am so ambivalent about buying clothes for a "temporary" time in my life. Especially with only 9 weeks to go. Before you can say "you will still wear them after the baby is born for awhile" my response is YES YES I KNOW. I still don't want to spend my money on something that I foresee not wearing by the end of the year. I can't justify it. I may not be skinny minny on a regular pre-baby day, but I am certainly not going to be hanging onto this weight. I'm sorry but I just won't accept that. 

I'm hoping that breastfeeding and eating a modified Atkins diet POST baby will help drop it. I certainly have plans to at least get out of the house for a walk at least 4x a week. (Notice how I don't say everyday? I'm not setting myself for failure here) I've heard from the rumor mill that some of you people have volunteered to come help, baby sit, stay with us....I'm going to be setting up a schedule here. No joke. When one person leaves the compound, I will bring in another! This mom-to-be is not afraid to say I am going to need help. With your help, maybe I can work on myself a bit. By feeling good about ourselves, we show our children and those around us how to feel good about themselves. 

I don't want to bring my daughter into the world to a mom who has body issues. Most of us have some issues or another, we probably always will. But for the most part we are happy with the person standing in front of us in the mirror. That equals a happy person, a happy mom. So if a 30 min walk with my iPod alone will help me get there, I'm not going to feel guilty for taking it. And I thank all of you ahead of time for allowing me to have that. 

Another note, I'm starting to feel REALLY unprepared for labor/post labor. Like panic attack-my-bag-still-isn't-packed-should-it-be-freaked out! (But seriously, is it bad that at 31 weeks my bag isn't packed yet?) 

I've got the first of my baby showers next weekend. I'm figuring out disability and how that works. I still do not have my nursery together. We haven't taken our childbirth class yet (June 28th) so I sometimes have fits of panic thinking about the physical aspect of HAVING said baby. Then there is the post-partum recovery...which if you have read any subjects on Thebump.com, there is PLENTY to be scared of. Apparently you need gadgets and gizmos aplenty just to go to the bathroom for weeks after the birth. Sounds lovely....

So yeah, I should probably waddle around for some exercise now. Waddle being the preemptive word. Word of the day: waddle. 

Go forth and waddle my friends,

Amy